Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Maple Syrup... Mmmmmm. Zzzzzzz.
I accidentally overdosed on maple syrup today.

The result of a self-induced sugar coma is laziness. Jot it down.

Things started out okay. We got up, got dressed and out the door in a timely fashion, which never happens, so that was a Bravo for me! We met some friends for breakfast at Cracker Barrel and that’s precisely where my day ended.

I ordered the Momma’s French toast breakfast, because I am, in fact, A Momma, and it does, in fact, include four (count them!) slices of French toast, two eggs (scrambled, for me, with cheese, naturally), and I chose sausage as my obligatory breakfast meat. Why stop there, you’re wondering? I know! I couldn’t either! I also got a side of hash brown casserole.

*insert a variety of barnyard animal noises here*

I did share nicely with Mattie.

Nate had a kid’s meal of two pancakes and a side of bacon.

I doused my French toast in so much of their amazing 100% pure maple syrup and then I had a little dipping pool of the shit on the side, to dip my already too maple-syrup-y French toast in. I actually feel a little sick thinking about it. Then, I had three cups of coffee, trying desperately to give my body energy after I weighed it down with all that food.

Then we left. And I was left feeling very full and sleepy.

And that’s where the day officially ended. I did not lift a finger for housework or cooking or baking or anything that I didn’t HAVE to do. I haven’t even gotten the mail yet. Maybe I’ll live on the edge and leave it there till tomorrow. Ooooh, the mailman will think we’re on vacation!! How exciting!

I set up the sand/water table my kids got for Easter in my kitchen because I’m cool and fun (and plain stupid) like that. Just water, no sand, so I can easily say “It’s just water, people!” except I won’t say that, all that I will say is “It offered hours of fun, people!”. After I got sick of the mess, I put the cover on and they’re still playing with their cars on it. Not that stupid of an idea in the end, people.

What did I do while they enjoyed this wet, indoor fun? I learned a lesson. No, not that I shouldn’t let them play with water inside, that would be too OBVIOUS. Here’s the lesson: I can guiltlessly ignore my kids when I’m on the computer or the phone but if I’m laying on the couch, it just feels wrong. I know this now, because that’s what I did. I curled up on the sofa, under a blanket and everything, and I tried to watch a movie but it... just felt wrong. Too stereotypically lazy, I guess. Jot that one down, too. Mommy guilt can be a bitch.

Just like Mother Nature can be a bitch. The reason my kids were playing with water INSIDE is because it was raining today. After ALL I do for her, she rains when Nate is on school break, can you believe it? So, when Nate threw the banana I handed to him directly into the trash, I left it there. I could have gotten it out and put it in with the composting, the bag was empty, it wasn’t gross or anything, but I’m spiteful like that. No potassium for you, Earth.

Too much sugar makes me lazy and nasty, too, apparently. Yay. Another reason to stick to the diet.

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